Derivative Nerd Art

I attended my first art night at a friend's house last night. Had to sit behind my buddy who was painting on canvas. He was painting 2 very nice looking squid, so I sat behind him and drew what he was painting.

Top 5 Harry Nilsson Songs

Harry Nilsson is badass, and is one of my favorite musicians of all time.  And to prove it, here are 5 of his best songs.

One

Yeah, he wrote this.  Three Dog Night did it and got famous, Mariah Carey did it and got some props.  He wrote it and did it the best.

Jump Into The Fire

Best known for being played during the helicopter chase scene in Goodfellas, oh and for having some killer bass and drum solos all over the place.

Jesus Christ You're Tall

I absolutely love story telling songs, and this one tells the story of a man that is ungodly tall.  Then he has a little boy, that becomes Jesus Christ You're Tall, and then some day he plays some basketball.

You Can't Do That

Not technically his song as it is a compliation of 28 Beatles songs, but if you can pull of that kiind of sillyness, you can go ahead and claim the credit for this.  Try to pick them all out, you'll have to listen multiple times and write them all down, like I did.

(Lime In The) Coconut

Supposedly written about a cure for a "cocaine hangover", this alternate version is awesome with the multiple gorillas playing and jivin and having a grand ole time.

All of Nilsson's songs are amazingly well done and completely different from anything else you would ever hear.  Check out some of his albums if you have never done so before.  I recommend Nilsson Schmilsson for the rocking kind of crowd and A Little Touch Of Schmilsson for the mellow folks.  Doesn't matter what one you pick up though as you can't go wrong.

Top 5 Live Performances Ever

Ten Years After - I'm Going Home (Woodstock)

For me this is probably the greatest of all time and makes the rest of the list null. As Of Yet - Eleanor Rigby

In case you didn't know, this is awesome and should be shown to your children, and then their children.  Maybe even your grandparents if your speakers can get loud enough for them to hear it. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love (Live @ Earls Court 1975)

At about 2:50 this goes from awesome to "holy shit, am I on drugs or is this really happening".  Yeah, no.  Really happened just like that, check the video to be sure.

Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good (Live Spoken Word Version)

At first I read the part that says "Live Spoken Word Version" and wanted to shy away, but it's Joe Walsh, he's the best thing to happen to the Eagles.  So I watched it, and was stunned.  He uses the song to tell the story of the song and how it came together.  It is touching to see inside the mind that wrote this silly tune.

The Beatles - Rooftop Concert 1969

I'm double cheating here, well, not really.  I never specified that the performance was of a single song or that the video I was sharing actually had video, but this is the Beatles.  This my friends, was the end of an era.  The very last time the Beatles performed in public, and also the first time in 4 years.  It was a momentous occassion that was marked by many events.  If you can ever get a chance to see the whole Let It Be movie, do so.  It will change your life forever.

It Can Never Get Weird Enough For Me Part IV

So its the fourth of July right, and we're on our way back from watching the Centennial wireless sponsored fireworks spectacular, which was super spectacular by the way and I will be sure to pay up my centennial bill asap.  So we are driving back and these two cars come flying up on us and are racing, about trying to wreck each other or something.  The one furthest behind passes us first and it is a truck and as soon as he goes by the car goes by.  They take off fast, like they left us standing still and we were going 60.  It was mad.  

  So they are swerving back and forth and the car spins out into the ditch and flips at least 3 times into the field next to the road and the truck takes off.  There is another truck sitting at the intersection right up ahead of them and he takes off after the other truck and we don't see them again.  We stop to help the people in the car and the police show up and make all well.  Psh.  Fuckin pig didn't have a clue what to do.  So i'm holding this dudes head cause he cant move anything and we are waiting on the ambulance.  All he is doing is looking at me and I'm looking at him and were looking each other in the eyes and I just start thinking about how I'm gonna see this guy die.  He's gonna die in my arms here on the side of the road and he doesn't even get to tell his girlfriend he loves her. All those friends and family he wont see again till his funeral.  WTF.  Shes no better off.  

She cant feel her legs or arms and isn't really comprehending what is goin on.  Talking all kinds of jibberish and shit, I couldn't understand any of it.  So the cop lights up a cigarette and is trying to get the girl to smoke but she keeps spitting it out. I don't know what he was thinking, if it was supposed to calm her ass down or what but it sure as hell didn't work cause shes screaming for her boyfriend now having noticed that he wasn't moving at all.  I am pretty well paralyzed with fear from what all is going on. There's blood all over me and all over everything and I'm thinking were all gonna die.  Shits really starting to get intense now and finally over the screaming and madness I hear some sirens coming.  They fly up to where we were at and get stretchers and shit out and get them both in the back.  Total time they were there was like 2 min.  Insane.  So I'm standing out in this field now talking to a bloodied up cop and I'm all bloodied up and we are both about pale and we both are smoking cigarettes talking about all sorts of mean nasty ugly things while we filled out reports and went on our separate ways.  Sooo...  How was your day??

Bacon Roses

Need a last minute idea for Valentine's Day?  I'm sure you do.  And who doesn't love some roses?  The Vegans, that's who.  Because these roses are made of Bacon.  That's right, the worlds most popular food gets teamed up with the worlds most popular gift flower to make for a V-Day of awesomeness.

1. Step 1 will require you run to the nearest grocery store and pick up a couple of aluminum "Loaf Pans". You'll want to poke some holes in the bottom of the pan to allow for drainage of the grease and fat from the bacon.  Be sure to have a secondary pan to catch this while cooking though.
2. Any ole bacon will do but I prefer a thicker cut when doing these as it seems to hold better.  Feel free to experiment on your own though, because that gives you the opportunity to eat a bunch of bacon.  Here comes the real trick, you need to roll the bacon strips up length wise so that they are taller in the middle and shorter on the outside.  After rolling each one, use some aluminum foil to give each rose a little barrier so as not to touch the other roses directly.  I had to do a little bit of cramming to get my whole dozen in the pan.
   
   
3. You will need to bake the roses on 400* for nearly an hour for them to cook.  Keep an eye on them and when they start to get crispy, they are done.  There may still be some fat left in the roses and this is ok as it will help hold them together for the next step.  Also, notice the drip pan underneath the roses.
   
   
4. If you didn't also acquire a dozen of fake long stem roses while at the store, this is the step where you head back over and do so.  I'll wait here until you get back.
   Back?  Good, now start popping the fake roses off of the stems.  This is a little tricky at first but you'll figure it out.  Pop the whole dozen off and wash the stems thoroughly as you will be putting food on them, and then the food will go in your mouth.  And you have no idea who touched those roses while they were in the store (hint: it was probably me, do you really want that in your mouth?).
   
   
5. And now we assemble our  bacon to our roses.  This is simple and shouldn't need any explanation.  But if you don't understand, take the bacon out of the pan and sit it on the rose stem nicely.
   
   

Now for the fun part.  Give them to your favorite sweetheart and watch as they try to figure out what is really going on with the flowers they just received.  It's a great feeling when they try to smell them and are very confused.  Enjoy your Valentine's Day.